What are you supposed to be?

Yesterday was Halloween. Here is a list of all the "Trick or Treaters" that came to my door...

three princesses

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Not sure which one. It was the one who wears the orange eye mask. Michalangelo I think.

ninja

kid in a full chicken suit

little kid in just regular clothes with one of those tiny fake handlebar moustaches glued to his face. It should be noted that his 3 college age brothers and his Father came to the door with candy bags as well. They weren't dressed up, but they out-numbered me so I gave them candy too. Jerks.

Three kids in regular street clothes. Looked like they would pummel me so they got candy, even though they weren't dressed up. Again, jerks.

dalmation

Some sort of fairy

little boy dressed as a lady

kid with regular clothes on, but wearing a skull mask

Some kid's mother dressed as a giant fat naked lady. Disturbing.

vampire

the killer from the "Scream" movies

two snotty high school girls that were "too cold to dress up." I gave them candy, but I hope they get cavities.

a kid in regular clothes, holding a fake head

sugar plum fairy

flapper

some sort of broken whore doll. I would never call a little kid a whore. This girl was a senior in high school, and was dressed like a whorish doll. Gross.

zorro

a medieval something

wizard of some sort

the tiniest superman I've ever seen

darth vader

This is only my second year in Suburbia, so I feel compelled to give out good candy. I don't want to be the new neighbor who is known for giving out like, "maryJanes" or Canadian mints. So I handed out big handfuls of gummy things and blow-pops.

Also, I feel like Halloween is sort of similar to when the mob shows up to your deli and makes you pay for 'protection." I feel like if I give these little jerks candy, they won't steal shit off my lawn or whatever, and won't look the other way if my house is burning down. Maybe. I don't know.

An Important Reminder...

DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS! will be screened at Cinema Salem in the Witch City of Salem, Massachusetts. The fine folks at CinemaSalem and the Salem Fright Festival would like to see this become a Salem tradition on Halloween -- closing out the night with DYZB! These terrific people feel like our movie could become a "Rocky Horror"-type phenomenon, which would be very cool. So PLEASE come out for this historic FIRST ANNUAL event, raise your fists and yell "DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS!"

It shows at 10:30pm on HALLOWEEN NIGHT -- TONITE! (October 31st)

http://www.cinemasalem.com

Also, Cinema Salem has a policy where if you were actually IN the movie being screened, you get in for FREE. If you were onscreen in DYZB!, let them know for FREE ADMISSION.

Hooray!

As of today, I am out of credit card debt. I have zeroed everything out. It's very exciting.

Now all I gotta do is pay off my house. In 28.5 years.

Dolemite's Birthday Present...

You've come a long way, baby.

Today is Dolemite the Cat's birthday. He is 4 years old, which translates to "still a jerk" in people years.

Technically, his birthday might not actually be today. The shelter where we adopted him from couldn't pin-point his actual birthdate, but did say he was probably born between October 20th and October 30th. So we decided he was born on October 24th. It doesn't really matter... he can't read a calendar anyway.

I can still remember the day we adopted the jerk...

We (me and the boyfriend at the time, who is now no longer the boyfriend) had just moved from a mouse-infested apartment in Boston to another apartment in the building next door. I wanted a cat to protect me from rodents in the new apartment. I NEEDED a cat to protect me from rodents. I was so tramatized from the mouse apartment that everytime something glinted in the corner of my eye, I assumed it was a mouse and promptly freaked out.

The boyfriend did not want a cat. I whined and begged for weeks.

A few weeks later, on New Year's Eve, we attended a party hosted by one of his co-workers. He is a chef, so the party food was elaborate. The host, knowing that I don't drink, prepared a highly carbonated non-alcoholic fancy shmancy fruity lemon thing that I think also involved ginger. It really was quite beautiful, although I really don't like carbonation. It makes me gag. It's too fizzy. Wah!

I sat there holding the giant glass of good intention in my hand, trying to think of a way to dump it in a plant or something. I didn't want to be rude, but I could not drink this thing. I do not have a sophisticated palate. There was too much going on with that beverage. I like plain things. Like warm apple juice.

So I sat there surrounded by tiny sausages wrapped in puff pastry blankets and spare ribs marinated in imported sauces I had never heard of, while bitter over-worked chefs argued the merits of Kobe Beef. I sat trying to hatch a plan to get rid of the lemony, zingy beverage.

Then, the boyfriend solved the problem for me by saying,
"If you drink that, we can get a cat."

Gulp.

Two days later, we are at the Animal Rescue League in Boston looking at felines when we spot him... a tiny grey and white mangy looking kitten hovering in the corner of a tiny cage. We ask to see him in one of the "get to know you" stalls to see if we get along. We had to wear rubber gloves because the kitten had just arrived about 3 hours ago and had been flea-dipped.

The Rescue worker tells us that he was rescued from a dumpster in the back of a Burger King, and he was all alone. No siblings. Nothing. A tiny kitten all alone in a big fast food dumpster. Cue the dramatic music.

We carry the little trembling furball into the stall and the woman tells us to watch out because a rabbit was just in there with it's future adoptive parents.

The little grey kitten jumps out of my purple-gloved hands, runs under a chair and begins eating rabbit droppings.

Obviously, we had to adopt him.

And then there was none...

Joey Bishop passed away a few days ago. (October 17, 2007)

Now there are no living members of the Rat Pack.

Lead Sled

Here are some photos from the Fallout taken with the same camera that we used to take those neat-o vintage-feel photos at Coney Island about a month ago. I really love the way these look.

Like a Rocket

I love the interior of this car...

The Gamma Rays

The Gamma Rays played at the Fallout...



Johnny Custom's Bass...

...He was filling in for the day.

Vroom Vroom

Hot Rod Fallout

Went to the Hot Rod Fallout in Connecticut on Saturday...

Butter Dish

"Don't Postone Joy"

For twenty five cents, you too can "fall in love."


I seem to be putting a lot of Coney Island related stuff up on the ol' blog lately.

Ding-Dong Cart

Now that Autumn has arrived, the ice cream truck that drives around the neighborhood has not been seen. I think it's gone for the season.

I can still remember the first time I heard it. It was the beginning of last Summer, and I had not fully moved into the house yet. My father and I were fixing a lighting fixture in the bathroon, when a faint melodic pinkly tune wafted in the window. We both froze. "Ice cream truck?" we both said in unison, excited at the thought.

Yes. It was an ice cream truck. That familiar, annoying yet comforting sound is easily recognizable. We scrambled around the still empty house looking for money, and flew out the door to trade it for happiness on a stick.

I was already excited about moving into my house, but to learn that it's on an ice cream truck's route....It's nearly too much. I love my neighborhood.

This is the second season that the ice cream truck has been spreading treats around, and I hope that it returns next summer.

It should be noted that I, along with everyone else from Western Massachusetts, call Ice Cream Trucks, "Ding-Dong Carts."
So in the above story, my father and I actually said "Ding-Dong Cart?" in unison. For the sake of allowing non-Western Massers to know what the hell I'm talking about, I made the small word change in the story.

Ding-Dong Cart.

Tiki Time!

I bought this thing at Coney Island. It's so amusing to me. I don't know why, but it makes me giggle everytime it's on.
Simple things for simple minds, i guess!

Honk Honk, Beep Beep.

Whenever I'm driving my car and I detect anything that smells remotely like it could be coming from my car, I freak out. I end up inhaling so deeply over and over again to try and determine what the problem could be that I nearly pass out. Everytime. It's odd because I know nothing about the mechanics of vehicles, so it's not as if I would ever be able to diagnose anything anyway. I'm not even worried about breaking down in the middle of nowhere, I'm worried about getting ripped off by mechanics.

Also, most of the time it ends up being a truck in front of me or another car or whatever. It's generally not even my car emitting the "bring me to the mechanic" odor.

Not this time, however...

As I was driving home from a show Saturday night, my friend Ray mentioned that he could smell burning rubber. I inhaled deeply with purpose and squinted eyes and could smell it too. But then it went away. Then came back. Then went away. Then came back. The smell was wafting in and out of my car like this for the entire hour long drive home from Wormtown.

So I dropped my car off at the mechanic's shop and told 'em to replace the two front tires while it was there. Ok.

I get a call later in the day. The mechaanic tells me there is good news and bad news. I opt to hear the bad news first. I ALWAYS opt for bad news first. I like to get it over with.

"well, you need all four tires to be replaced. Some sort of rod thing was rubbing against something and a bunch of crap needs to be replaced. We also had to remove some sort of plate near your bumper. "
(I paraphrased that. heehee)

"How much is that going to cost?" I ask, clenching the armrest of the chair.

"SIX HUNDRED AND THIRTY ONE DOLLARS."

"Shit. What's the good news?" I ask, feeling naseated.

"That'll get rid of the burning rubber smell!"

oh good. At least I won't be smelling burning rubber on my way to the market to buy Ramen Noodles. Because that's all I'm going to be able to afford to eat for the rest of the month!

What's that smell?

About three years ago, I bought one of those Febreeze "ScentStories" smell-players, or whatever you want to call it. It seems like a dumb gimmicky gadget, but it's really great. I like to burn candles, but I'm always afraid that my damn cat will accidently light his tail on fire. The "Smell-Player" has all the fragrance tossing goodness of a candle, without the potentially cat-scorching flame.

Anyway, the discs for the ScentStories are very difficult to find in stores. I began hoarding them and figured that the product had been discontinued.

TODAY, I got an email from the folks at Febreeze (Yes, i signed up for the ScentStories newsletter, whatever.. I got coupons from it.) and Yankee Candle is now putting out the discs!




This makes me happier than it should.

"Die You Zombie Bastards!" News...

The following information is from the "Die You Zombie Bastards!" newsletter...
A screening in Salem! A gallery opening! Fantastic! I love when people I know are putting great, creative stuff out into the world...

From the newsletter...
1.) T-SHIRTS are selling fast, but we wanna clear 'em out FASTER...
so for the Halloween season we've dropped the price to a mere $10
apiece. Quickly, now! Click on:
http://www.dieyouzombiebastards.com/T-SHIRTS.html

(the sooner we can get these on your backs, the sooner we can whip up
our NEXT limited edition wearable masterpiece. Stay tuned...)


2.) DIE YOU ZOMBIE BASTARDS! will be screened at CinemaSalem in the
Witch City of Salem, Massachusetts. The fine folks at CinemaSalem
and the Salem Fright Festival would like to see it become a Halloween
tradition, so PLEASE come out, raise your fists and chant "DIE YOU
ZOMBIE BASTARDS!"
On Saturday October 27th, you can meet co-writer/co-producer Haig
Demarjian annnnnnd... KID FANTASTICO himself, Doug Williams!
It shows at 11pm on October 27th
and 10:30 on HALLOWEEN NIGHT!
click below to uncover the spooky details:
http://www.cinemasalem.com/


3.) the above-mentioned Haig Demarjian is currently having a solo
show of his very own paintings, drawings and prints. The show is
called EERIE HORRORS FROM BENEATH THE VAULT OF DREAD and is at the
Winfisky Gallery on the Salem State College campus through October
18th. It's a show you don't wanna miss; it includes the debut of a
colossal seven by eighteen foot painting Demarjian has been working
on for two years, and Creep-O-Vision, a multimedia monster
presentation. All are welcome at the gala reception, 6-8pm THIS
WEDNESDAY Oct 10 -- there'll be food, fun, prizes and surprises!
For more info:
http://www.salemstate.edu/arts/spotlight_art.php

In His First Starring Role...

Jalopy

I wish cars were still readily available in these colors...



My car is a boring color. It's that blue-grey color that Cape Cod artist's always use when they're painting pictures of dolphins on driftwood. It's boring and in a crowded parking lot, it's difficult to find my car because it's such a common color. But, I bought my car used, so I didn't have much choice. It was either the dolphin-mobile or another car that was black and had cigarette burn holes on the ceiling upholstery. I went with the former.

My car is in fine working order, but recently I've been obsessed with getting a new vehicle. I don't know why. My plan is to get a new (well, new to me) car in five years. So five more years with the dolphin. And I hope I'll be able to find a car in a color that isn't entirely dull.