It's not me, It's you.

I recently paid off one of my credit cards and then canceled it. Let's call the credit card company George.

So George and I had been together since i was in college and we've grown apart. We wanted different things... George wanted to charge me a crazy interest rate that fluctuated month to month, and I didn't want to give him all that interest money. Basically George wanted to be an asshole, and I din't want to be involved with an asshole.

See? Clearly we wanted different things.

So I broke it off, via a phone call about ten minutes after making my final, balance-zeroing payment. He begged and pleaded, offering me lower rates and bonus crap that I would never utilize anyway. I stood my ground and said that although we have a long history, it was time to part ways.

Now, a month later, George is calling all the time. Like three times a week, begging me to come back. I've asked George to stop calling, and he won't.

This is a call I got last night:

Me: Hello?
George: Hello, this is xxx, calling on behalf of George.
Me: What now?
George: We have on our records that you recently canceled your George card. We're just following up as to why.
Me: Your interest rate is too high.
George: What can we do to get you back as a credit card holder with George?
Me: One percent interest rate forever and ever.
George: We can't do that. Also, no credit card company will do that.
Me: Exactly. Ok then, I'll settle for a pony.
George: Um. We can't do that.
Me: Goodbye, and please remove me from your call list.

If George calls one more time, I'm going to lose my mind. Because I was previously involved with George, these calls aren't "cold calls" and aren't affected by the "do not call" list. So really, they can just keep calling me. AAAH.