Night out on the town...

You know that dance that suburban moms do when they have a few too many wine coolers and they are listening to some band play all their favorite covers?

My friend Chris named the dance. It's called "The Minivan."

Overheard at a party in suburbia...

• That's not the Running Man. That's the Roger Rabbit. • It looks not so good, but tastes ok. • I need a connector for this glow bracelet. • I got stopped at customs, trying to bring empty bottles through. • Sorry I'm late... here's the ice. • Is this that noodle stuff you made for New Year's? • That's Dean Martin? • So, do you think it's possible to get a door in there? • Who wants a Tropical Chris? • Your cat is cute, but he seems like an asshole. • Ooooohhhh, strawberry shortcake! • Hey, I'M a Hawaiian Chris! • I've taught drug dealers and hoodlums, but nothing is more difficult than teaching rich suburban kids. • I've finally conquered this gelatin mold.. my life is now complete. • Your flamingos need to eat more shrimp. • I ate the pancakes, and it was worth it. • The way to tell if a dip is good is to stick a carrot in it and if it remains standing up, you're good to go. • I'm not taking pictures, I'm RECORDING you on video. • That's what you get for working a job like that. • We got lost. • I need to borrow your dryer, my jacket is damp. • You're making bagel pizzas? Is that a surprise? • The frog's healed, wanna see? • I need to go, I have to work in the morning. I'm an adult now. •

Recent Things of Note...

the house across the street from mine caught on fire • found a few more pieces of "Blue Heaven" dishes at a tag sale • my kitchen sink has been fixed, although now there is a leak in one of the pipes • candy corn is still gross • the grocery store near my house has stopped carrying my frozen pizza of choice, which is more devastating than you would think • for the past week I have poured roughly 200 lip balms a day • i've been having re-occuring dreams about Coney Island, which is odd, as I've never been there • the world juggling competition was on last night, and it was oddly compelling • rainy weather really compliments breakfast foods