Nothing to see here...move along...

Last night, the doorbell rang...

random guy: Hi. Is your Mom or Dad home?

me: Eh, No. (I haven't actually lived with my parents in nine years.)

random guy: Oh. Are you the home owner?

me: Yep.

random guy: Do you live alone?

me: No. (I always say this when asked by strangers. No one needs to know whether or not I live alone.)

random guy: Well, we're washing carpets for homeowners.

me: I have no carpets in here. (I lie!)

random guy: No throw rugs? nothing?

me: No. Nothing . (oooh! I lie again!)

random guy: Uh, ok. Uh, Sorry I thought you were younger than me.

He then shuffled down my front steps and scurried to the next house.


what?

Darkness.

Health Ledger passed away this week, which bothers me more than it should. I'm not a big fan of his or anything, so I really don't know why this has bothered me as it has. I must say though, that I've been geekily excited for his "Joker" this coming Summer, and now it will be a bit odd to watch I think.

Now...
Bettie Page is deathly ill.

She has been moved from a hospital to a nursing home and is currently unable to speak. She is suffering/recovering from pneumonia and a kidney infection. She is 84 years old. According to her brother, it's not looking good.

More crap I need...

Even though this isn't ceramic*, I need this for my house....


A cheeseburger drink coaster set! I have collected a lot of fake food over the years, and most of it has no purpose whatsoever. This cheeseburger is actually functional!

*I collect ceramic cheeseburgers. I don't know why. I just do.

Such is life

This weekend I came to the conclusion that whenever someone says "Life's too Short...," it will be followed by the speaker either blowing a large sum of money on some stupid shit, or doing something that is most likely not a good idea.

Table for six

I'm slowly collecting the furniture for the diner that I'm building in my basement, and this past weekend I bought a diner booth from a soda shop out in Western Mass that is moving locations.

It's gigantic and seats six! It's also yellow, which means I'm going to re-upholster it, because yellow is a horrid color.

Now that I have all the elements for this project, I can adjust my floor plans and get to work!

Finally!

The jerks next door have finally moved their old mattress from the side of my house.

This probably had something to do with the fact that yesterday I opened my window and yelled...
"PLEASE REMOVE YOUR MATTRESS FROM MY PROPERTY. IT IS VERY INCONSIDERATE OF YOU TO PLACE YOUR GARBAGE AGAINST MY HOUSE!" in their general direction.

Peanut butter and banana sandwich

Elvis was born on this day, back in 1935.

Those Jerks...

It is a well known fact that I have rude, bastardy neighbors to the left of my house.

They refuse to speak to me, do not wave back when I wave at them and also ignore me when I say hello. They are awful people.

Actually, they don't ignore me... they roll their eyes in my general direction all the time. So I guess they acknowledge my existence, and hate it.

So I continue to be nice to them, and they continue to abhor my very existence. Which is fine I guess, but sort of disappointing, because all my other neighbors are swell and it'd be nice if they were too.

So the other day, they decided it would be ok to lean a mattress against my house. A wet, soggy mattress.

WHO DOES THAT!?

They can be rude to me all they want... but I draw the fucking line with them LEANING THEIR GARBAGE AGAINST MY HOUSE.

Oh well, hopefully one day they will move. Or die. Whatever.

Sprucing up the joint....

Whoooo!

Look up there... it's a new masthead! My lovely little house, cartoonified.

Dirt Nap

I had to call my health care provider this morning to update some information and was put on hold.

Their "on hold" song choice was "You Can't always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones, which is not a bad song, but it was the song played during the opening FUNERAL scene in "The Big Chill."

I really don't want to be thinking about funerals and death while on hold with my doctor. I'm in perfect health, although it still mildly creeped me out.

New Year's Eve in Suburbia

Threw a New Year's Eve party again this year. The good thing about throwing parties is that at the end of the night, you're already home!

Harris and his beverage...


Something must have been funny to the left...


Chris, on his way to get another drink...


Dolemite, wearing his party sweater...


Myk, passed out...